“And I tell myself it’s just a blue day. And it’s hard to see it any other way …” Blue Day, Colin Bayley & Murray Burns (1983). Image: Su Leslie, 2015.
It’s 1984 and I’m in a state of metamorphosis. The life I’ve fallen into since leaving my parents’ home has become as constraining and ill-fitting as that which I originally fled.
I cut my hair very short and bleach it very blonde. I acquire a wardrobe of vintage clothes; oversize men’s shirts, pencil skirts and beaded cardigans.
I catch glimpses of an unfamiliar woman in the mirror and wonder why she doesn’t look happy. Some days the world beyond my bed is a void I’m afraid that I will fall into and become lost forever.
I listen to a lot of music. Sometimes it makes me feel better.
Zimmerbitch 
We all have our blue days, but not every can express in words what it feels like.
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I think words have always been part of my salvation.
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Music can do that.
Leslie
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So true.
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Unfortunately, for some odd reason, the video is telling me that “I” can’t see this video!?? I’ll have to check my youtube account I guess. Nevertheless, I love your brilliant written description of – “your state of metamorphosis, of 1984.” It brings up a wonderful vivid vision. 🙂
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Hi Amanda. It would be a copyright thing. Does the hyperlink on ‘Blue Day’ in the title work? That is a link — not to YouTube – but to NZ OnScreen, which is an audiovisual archive. https://www.nzonscreen.com/ That may work. Cheers, Su.
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Okay, great, thanks. 🙂
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Glad you made it through to the other side, Su.
janet
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Thank you Janet. I dip in and out of that state still; but am much better at noticing the slide sooner these days, and finding ways to help myself. Happy weekend. Su
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Intelligent,sensitive and sentimental people like you rarely avoid those “blue waves” in their lives.Nostalgia is tantalizing ofttime,but it has a sweet taste.Soulful and most emotive your confession dear Su,and the video just compelling!Take care my good friend and enjoy a dry weekend 🙂
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Thank you dear Doda. If I’m to be influenced by the weather today it will be a wild ride of emotions — rain and thunder predicted. Perhaps I can channel that into something creative. Happy weekend to you my friend. 🙂
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I know,they come like a surge and then they slowly subside … Channel them Su,give them a voice … 🙂 xxx
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You always share the most beautiful music!
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Thank you. This Music Month project has reminded me how many talented musicians New Zealand produces, and it’s been great to share some favourite songs.
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True, you have very talented musicians in NZ. Beautiful country, great people.
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Not sure I can click “like” on that, but thanks for sharing so honestly.
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Thank you Anabel.
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Love your writing here.
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Thank you. I do so much writing for others, I tend to forget sometimes just to open my heart. 🙂
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Well it really works for you 😍
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1984 was a special year for me too. In many many ways it’s very good that it’s far away, where it belongs. What you wrote makes me wish to make that girl smile.
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Thank you; that’s so kind. She’s learned to read the emotional tides better and find the lifeboats.
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Reblogged this on Zimmerbitch and commented:
Music is a powerful trigger for memories; a way to reflect on what has changed and what stays the same.
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