DP Photo Challenge: Nostalgia, take 2

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My son and his grandmother at a family wedding in London, 2006. Photo: Su Leslie

The boy-child left home earlier this year. Always an independent soul, he has adapted well to living in a flat and seems happy — if not as well-fed as he was at home.

Do I sound like a bad parent if I say I don’t miss him?

To qualify that: I don’t miss the conflict and tension that characterized the months before he moved out. And while I am still quietly celebrating a full fridge, an empty laundry basket and a cheerful offspring, I am a little nostalgic. My child has grown up and our relationship has changed.

The boy-child at his workbench with wood-working tools, aged about 3. Image: Su Leslie, 2001

Home handyman. Image: Su Leslie, 2001

The boy-child learning to cook. Image: Su Leslie, 2006

Learning to cook, aged around 8. Image: Su Leslie, 2006

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On holiday in Munich, 2015. When will we next travel together as a family? Image: Su Leslie.

I do miss the funny, energetic child who filled my life for 18 years, but celebrate the capable and self-sufficient adult he has become.

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21 thoughts on “DP Photo Challenge: Nostalgia, take 2

    • How old is your kid. I think it gets easier to imagine them leaving when they are teenagers and you can see how much they can already do for themselves.
      And they do still need you. My came home when he was sick because it’s so much nicer feeling ill in your old room and with a parent looking after you.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I had to giggle when you wrote that you´re quietly celebrating you full fridge and empty laundry basket 😉 I think it´s the same for every mom.
    And you can be so proud that he´s standing on his own two feet now, earning a living and living on his own. There´s nothing better than to have achieve that as a mom I think 🙂 Although I can very well imagine the pain that is involved when your child leaves home…

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  2. I know exactly what you mean by your comment ‘Do I sound like a bad parent if I say I don’t miss him?’ … because in my case, I did – but I didn’t miss them. How to express that you feel both at the same time?
    Here I am – more than a dozen years later – and I’m just so proud of the men they have become. I’d like to believe I had some small part in that 😉

    I love the first photo with his grandmother. That is a face that’s full of life 🙂

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  3. I feel just the same, Su. Both our girls are away and I don’t miss them, in the sense that I want them to be living with us again or that I cry because they’re not around. We raised them to be on their own, living their own lives, using their own talents, so why mourn when they’re doing it successfully? Rejoice, rather, and enjoy the times together with wonderful adults.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Janet. That’s exactly how I feel. I see my role as a parent to be raising a child who can survive and thrive in the world, and if that is what the boy-child can do, than I have been successful. And I do enjoy when he visits; he is very good company! Cheers, Su.

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  4. Such cute photos. My two have been gone for so long that sometimes I have to think hard to remember what it was like to have them living at home. It’s bittersweet. You want them to grow up and have good lives, but the years do fly by faster than you expected.

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  5. Hi Su – you really touched a topic that so many can relate to – once they experience it – ha!
    I saw so many folks doing the empty nest thing and now that i am going through it too – well it feels like one of those things you have to experience to understand at all. Some things are just like that….

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      • I hear ya – my mom was neutral – but welcomed any of us back after we had some time to spread our wings but then needed to wanted to come back.
        and I am doing okay with son #1 gone and with son #2 moving that way – but the empty nest part kind of ties into exactly your post here today. Those tender early years are “done” – can’t say gone, but rather done – and they are some of the warmest days I will ever know – exploring, discovering, learning, managing, growing, and doing all the things with the younger aged kids is a unique phase.
        I have been home a lot this year – not by choice, but working a lot from home – and I see that a gift of it is that I have been her so much for my son – but in so many different ways than the younger years.
        Convos at random times – like his friends were over and it is 1 am and a new driver was chatting it up about being an organ donor – and I went off on a tangent about an episode of Monk (where some lady had his dead wife’s eyes) – ooo – but the talk that night = at the counter – was special and kind of feel grateful to be available for stuff like that – especially as he will be heading on out. but oh these teens – so much to learn….

        Liked by 1 person

      • I totally get that! Having the boy-child — and his friends –around has given me such an insight into how these kids experience the world. I do miss the casual interactions.

        Liked by 1 person

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