Seen several years ago in an old Auckland cemetery. I read the word “shot” on this headstone inscription and knew I had to learn more about the life of Emily Keeling. Image: Su Leslie, 2013
Sometimes, all that remains for us to know and honour the dead are their headstones in long-abandoned cemeteries.
Four years ago, I found — quite by accident — this headstone.
Sacred to the memory of Emily Mary the beloved daughter of George and Emily Keeling of Arch Hill who was shot while on her way to the Primitive Methodist Church Bible Class Alexandra Street April 2nd 1886. Aged 17 years.
Guns deaths have traditionally been rare New Zealand, so I was curious as to how a 17 year old girl came to be shot dead on what was, even in 1886, an urban street.
So like any family historian, I went home and researched the life and death of Emily Keeling.
It’s a tragic story. Emily was a victim of intimate, or partner, violence — shot by a young man whose offer of marriage she had rejected.
I’ve written about Emily’s story in more detail in other posts:
And now for something completely different
A monument to loss, and a touchstone for action
Remembering Emily Keeling and working to end domestic violence
Four years ago the name Emily Keeling meant nothing to me. Now that I know her story, she has joined that tragically long list of names of New Zealand women murdered by men who knew and claimed to love them.
Names we must never forget — a list we must work to end.
Zimmerbitch 
What a tragic story…
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Yes, we probably should have a reading of the names every year, just like we do for other tragedies.
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That’s a wonderful idea. A terribly long list of names sadly.
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Indeed, indeed.
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Oh dear yes what a tragic story. But I’m glad that I now know it and know Emily’s name.
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How wonderful that you carry the torch for those who would otherwise be lost in history.
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As do you in a different context.
Understanding history is essential if we are not to repeat past mistakes — though i don’t think we’re doing too well at the moment.
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I’ve yet to see an instance where humans have!! (unfortunately)
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Nor have I really; but I live in hope (I’d go mad otherwise).
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It was tragic then and still tragic today 😦
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How terrible! Thanks for your resolute efforts to keep her story, and those of others, alive.
janet
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Thank you Janet. I hate the way so often we remember the names of killers, but not those of their victims.
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People who do bad things get almost all the press. I sometimes think that if we didn’t publicize their names or show their faces, some might be less likely to do bad things.
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I think I heard that in Norway, the media never mention the name of the man who carried out the Utoyia Island massacre, to deny him the publicity and place in history he believes he deserves.
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I heard that as well.
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What a shocking tale, and how sad that we still read the same kind of story in today’s news. I read your other posts too and applaud you for keeping Emily’s name alive.
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Thanks Anabel. Finding Emily was such a random chance event, and at a time I was very attuned to the issue of domestic violence. It horrified me on so many levels — not least that I had walked by the place she’d died for many years, and knew the then-residents of her house.
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what a very tragic story, but thank you for keeping them alive a little longer
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Thank you. I believe very strongly that we must remember the past and do all we can not to repeat old mistakes.
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Truer words never spoken x
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We underestimate the pervasiveness of that incident. Thank you Su, for sharing and caring. I almost lost a daughter to such a situation.
Leslie
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Oh Leslie, I am so sorry.
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He did himself in but he never got to our daughter and granddaughter. Thank the Lord for women’s shelters.
Leslie
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Yes; the shelters have done so much to protect women and children. I feel very privileged in having worked with women’s refuge here, and getting to know some of the incredible women who have survived domestic violence and gone on to help others.
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It is when families need the help the most.
Leslie
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Yes. I read that women are most at risk after they leave an abusive relationship, so shelters are invaluable.
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Indeed they are, Su.
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I find it so sad that hundreds of years later we still witness women shot by their “partner.” You’d think we would have evolved by now . . .
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Agreed.we have succeeded in encouraging more women to report violence and support those who leave abusive relationships, but far too many women — and children still die at the hands of those “closest to them.
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It’s a terrible tragedy and even more so for having been done in the name of love. How much I hate people abusing this and other words like it to justify their horrible deeds. It makes me so angry thinking about it that I can’t really say more about it. ..muted by anger I think…
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I know what you mean. Partner violence is particularly difficult to comprehend.
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It definitely is… as any kind of violence not done in self-defense, I think.
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What a tragic story. Too many women are caught in the crosshairs of psychopaths.
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What’s most worrying is that so many men who probably wouldn’t be judged psychopaths feel that can control their families with violence, and in many ways society normalises male “control”.
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