From midnight tomorrow I won’t be able to see my darling boy-child for at least four weeks. No hugs for four weeks, so I’ll have to enjoy memories and reminders of hugs past — at least for now.
69 thoughts on “How can I prepare for these hug-less days?”
Why?
Is he leaving for what? Work? A life at the opposite end of your world?
You will do what we all do: reverting to virtual hugs, to WhatsApp, Skype, to writing…..
Be strong – believe that it will be alright. Because it will. Sending you a cup of tea, a hug and a smile.
Aaah, I see. Surely, she is mentally preparing herself for a long time of no physical contact. I misinterpreted her post, or misunderstood. Thank you Margaret. πππ»π―
Well that still should be of some consolation. My son lives at the other end of Switzerland, it’s his b’day today and we had made a rendez-vous for this week which also falls flat…. I can only phone him.
Margaret, that was and always will be, our situation. For, wherever we lived, we had friends made, new ones, old ones, and we love them all…. and we can’t visit all (or indeed any) of them. One lives with it – and thankfully we have those wonderful technical and electronic devices, which we didn’t have years ago. I remember living in Canada and a letter was taking forever (weeks and weeks!), and phone calls were one per year with the money ticking away by the SECOND. I still hear the tock tock when another second went by…. I’m forever thankful for the actual means of communication.
Absolutely! But at the same time, letters are dead. My son volunteered for his gap year at a school in India. Frustrating as it was to have his news about a fortnight old, I still have and treasure his letters. Emails? Not so much
oh dear…. No mails? not possible? LETTERS are wonderful, but apart from one sister of mine nobody in the whole large family is a writer. Include in that HH’s and his family. What a pity – letters are WONDERFUL to have and to cherish.
As it happens, I’ve just made a resolution to keep up with some friends by writing good old-fashioned letters. But guess what? In many cases I haven’t even got a good old-fashioned postal address.
LOoooool – as it happens this is something I UPDATE as often as I need to. I’m an old fashioned card and letter writer because I KNOW about the joy this brings – and I am even exchanging the occasional note with some of my virtual blogger friends!!!! So satisfying – I think I kept the French postal service going single handedly! π
Itβs interesting how blogging friendships often lead to not only physical meetings but the exchange of physical cards and letters. I have some beautiful cards made by blogging friends and really cherish them as tokens of very real, important relationships.
I have letters written to my mother by various relatives when we first moved to New Zealand. They are wonderful records of events that happened when I was a small child, and I love the insights they give me into that time and world. I have started writing letters again: I even bought some lovely writing paper and envelopes. I want the people I care about to have at least one tangible reminder of my love for them.
Weβre fine so far, but the country goes into lock-down tomorrow night. My son doesnβt live with us so our self-isolation bubble isnβt the same as his. βΉοΈ
Thanks Hannah. Apart from knowing I’ll miss contact with my son, I’m not terribly stressed by the lock-down. My partner and I work from home anyway, and are used to being quite self-sufficient.
I knew immediately what you meant, because when France locked-down last Tuesday my husband rushed back from England on a 4am ferry to get here before 12 noon (he did it!). We haven’t been out for 7 days now.
Your photo and your son are treasures – even I enjoyed seeing that ‘old’ hug, although I know neither of you! Count yourself rich and be patient.
Thank you so much.
It must have been stressful for both of you, with a mad dash like that. We are grateful to have had 48 hours notice — though I suspect some people are using it to “party like there’s no tomorrow” and putting themselves and others at risk.
Thank goodness we live in this digital age of instant communication. Like Kiki I remember those letters taking forever between NZ and UK and having to book the annual Christmas phone call weeks in advance. Things sure have changed and they will be changing now, hopefully lessons are learnt and we all come out the other side a more caring and grateful community, appreciating little things like hugs and being able to meet friends for a coffee.
And our governor has decided against lock down for us here in Florida…..mixed feelings about that. Our president is not helping matters, either. He is thinking about reopening certain businesses so people can get back to work. Translation: he is worried about the money. Not the health and safety of people. The money. You will all be safe, Su. But that is such a lovely photo.
I read about that this morning, then I saw a video my nieceβs American boyfriend posted which pretty much denied the existence of the virus and I did truly begin to wonder if somehow the Earth is actually two (or maybe more) parallel universes and I live in the semi-sane one.
I so hope that you and your loved ones are safe and well. Sending virtual hugs and hongi https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hongi
My heart goes out to you. My daughters are all in the UK and my stepson in New Jersey. All locked down. We are on an advisory at the moment here in Massachusetts, but if people donβt behave the Governor will shut us in, no doubt. I know what itβs like to be apart from beloved children and Iβm not going to sugar coat it by saying FaceTime and Skype make the difference. They donβt. Physically holding your precious child, those hugs – there isnβt a substitute but take heart. You are doing what is necessary to ensure that you have years and years of hugs ahead and that parents the world over have the same. All hail hugs. All hail flattening the curve π«
Thank you so much. Iβm grateful that my boy is at least in the same city and I can get to him if necessary. This has really shown us the fragility of the world as we know it.
Iβm glad he is near enough. This world is fragile indeed. We need to heed that now and we need to remember that truth as we emerge from the crisis as we ever will
Four weeks seems like an eternity. I hope desperately for you that this will help NZ avoid the worst case scenario and that many lives will be spared. I can completely understand your longing to hold your family tight. I imagine you are very worried about your father as well, Su.
You will have seen our news, Su, which foreshadows a horrific trajectory of infection. I am ashamed of the country we have become.
Thank you Tracy. I am cautiously optimistic that the lock-down will save lives; less so that morons wonβt ignore the rules.
It is scary to see whatβs happening in Australia. I used to feel that our two countries were so similar, but the differences seem to be growing.
Iβve spoken to my dad, and as much as I can be reassured, I am reassured that he has good people looking out for him.
The boy-child was quite fragile before this started and remains my main concern. And of course, my mother, brothers and their families are in England are vulnerable but beyond my reach.
I hope you and your family are managing to access what you need and that you are all safe.
I understand your concern about your son, Su. Been there. So long as he keeps talking to you, that is a good sign. The three amigo PMs are not covering themselves with glory.
We are fine for the moment, but there are some in this country, who are beyond my contempt.
My thoughts are with you. I will be going into quarantine for a fortnight from Saturday, hopefully to emerge well so I can visit my 90 year old mother who lives 4 hours away. She was quite down when I told her that I wouldn’t be able to come for Easter, at that stage I hadn’t even thought of how I could make a visit possible. She was much brighter after I ‘phoned her this evening to tell her of my plan. I feel very lucky that I can do this with my job and am not instantly unemployed like so many workers here in Australia.
In times of stress and anxiety, we need to rely on the sweet memories that will always be there to support us, when the physical presence is lacking. Best wishes! Peter
Relieved to hear you are all fine Su. Our daughter lives three houses down the street from us and we talk on the phone every day. (We used to see here everyday) We might even Skype if it goes on much longer. This too will pass Su. The thing that amazes me is how fast it has moved to all parts of the world.
Leslie
Lovely photo! You are both very photogenic and Big T (I assume) takes great portraits. My anguish is the other way round, at not being able to see my mum, although our lockdown has exceptions for helping vulnerable people. Even so, all I can safely do is deliver supplies occasionally and chat from the end of the garden path maybe! Iβm working hard at creating an alternative network in case John or I falls sick. Mum is cheerful, and blithely unconcerned. Iβm in bits.
Thank you Anabel.
I totally understand being in bits. I saw the boy-child and his partner (at a safe distance) earlier today and am comforted that he is in a flat with friends and they seem committed to looking out for each other.
I hope you all stay safe and well, and that the lock-downs work to ease the load on our health services.
Have been praying for a couple of close friends in Singapore who were anxiously awaiting the return of their children (catching the last flights from universities in the US). They are finally back in Singapore in isolation.
It must be nerve-wrecking to be away from Boy-Child at this time.
Iβm glad your friendsβ children arrived home safely. I am concerned about the boy-child, though he shares a house with friends and his partner, so I hope they will all support each other.
This is such a sweet and precious photo, Su! And I’m so sorry that he isn’t staying with you for the moment at least. But soon this will be over, and you’ll hold him in your arms again! Stay strong! Kia kaha, dear friend! xxx
Thank you so much. In some ways I wish he was with us too, although when he is in a black mood he has a talent for spreading the misery, and Iβm stronger when Iβm not around him all the time. Does that sound very selfish?
How are you and your mum doing?
It doesn’t sound selfish at all, Su! I completely understand, and you really shouldn’t feel bad about it. Depressive people have a tendency to suck the ones around them into their hole of misery even if they don’t mean to, it just happens. And now is not a good time to feel miserable if you can avoid it, since it influences your immune system. Sending lots of love and many hugs! xxx
Ahh! β€ What a lovely photo. I should be hugging my mom right now too back in Slovenia where I should be having a big and splendid 50 b-day party soon. The b-day is next Saturday and I'll make myself a cake. Yeah.
There are going to be a lot of milestone birthdays celebrated in novel ways this year!
My son’s girlfriend turned 21 and they are waiting for restrictions to be lifted to have a party. Who knows when that will be.
Why?
Is he leaving for what? Work? A life at the opposite end of your world?
You will do what we all do: reverting to virtual hugs, to WhatsApp, Skype, to writing…..
Be strong – believe that it will be alright. Because it will. Sending you a cup of tea, a hug and a smile.
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I imagine Su is in lock down, like so many of us. I have no idea when I shall see my children and grandchildren again π¦
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Aaah, I see. Surely, she is mentally preparing herself for a long time of no physical contact. I misinterpreted her post, or misunderstood. Thank you Margaret. πππ»π―
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Yes, weβre in lock-down from tomorrow night. At least we live in the same city, so if things get really bad I can get to him.
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Well that still should be of some consolation. My son lives at the other end of Switzerland, it’s his b’day today and we had made a rendez-vous for this week which also falls flat…. I can only phone him.
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We can be grateful for technologies that allow us to hear their voices and see their image.
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Su, and we ARE – big time!
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π
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Sadly, we’re all many miles, and even countries apart, so that’s that for now.
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I am sorry to hear that.
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Modern times!
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Margaret, that was and always will be, our situation. For, wherever we lived, we had friends made, new ones, old ones, and we love them all…. and we can’t visit all (or indeed any) of them. One lives with it – and thankfully we have those wonderful technical and electronic devices, which we didn’t have years ago. I remember living in Canada and a letter was taking forever (weeks and weeks!), and phone calls were one per year with the money ticking away by the SECOND. I still hear the tock tock when another second went by…. I’m forever thankful for the actual means of communication.
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Absolutely! But at the same time, letters are dead. My son volunteered for his gap year at a school in India. Frustrating as it was to have his news about a fortnight old, I still have and treasure his letters. Emails? Not so much
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oh dear…. No mails? not possible? LETTERS are wonderful, but apart from one sister of mine nobody in the whole large family is a writer. Include in that HH’s and his family. What a pity – letters are WONDERFUL to have and to cherish.
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As it happens, I’ve just made a resolution to keep up with some friends by writing good old-fashioned letters. But guess what? In many cases I haven’t even got a good old-fashioned postal address.
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOoooool – as it happens this is something I UPDATE as often as I need to. I’m an old fashioned card and letter writer because I KNOW about the joy this brings – and I am even exchanging the occasional note with some of my virtual blogger friends!!!! So satisfying – I think I kept the French postal service going single handedly! π
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I’ll join you!
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Bravo…..
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Itβs interesting how blogging friendships often lead to not only physical meetings but the exchange of physical cards and letters. I have some beautiful cards made by blogging friends and really cherish them as tokens of very real, important relationships.
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I know that feeling!!!
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I have letters written to my mother by various relatives when we first moved to New Zealand. They are wonderful records of events that happened when I was a small child, and I love the insights they give me into that time and world. I have started writing letters again: I even bought some lovely writing paper and envelopes. I want the people I care about to have at least one tangible reminder of my love for them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a lovely way of putting it.
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The country goes into lockdown tomorrow night and he doesnβt live with us.
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Oh Su, what’s wrong? It sounds as if one of you has been diagnosed with COVID 19?
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Weβre fine so far, but the country goes into lock-down tomorrow night. My son doesnβt live with us so our self-isolation bubble isnβt the same as his. βΉοΈ
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Itβs a very different way of being – California went into lock down last week. But itβs doable. Iβm so glad you all are ok!
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Thanks Hannah. Apart from knowing I’ll miss contact with my son, I’m not terribly stressed by the lock-down. My partner and I work from home anyway, and are used to being quite self-sufficient.
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I knew immediately what you meant, because when France locked-down last Tuesday my husband rushed back from England on a 4am ferry to get here before 12 noon (he did it!). We haven’t been out for 7 days now.
Your photo and your son are treasures – even I enjoyed seeing that ‘old’ hug, although I know neither of you! Count yourself rich and be patient.
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Thank you so much.
It must have been stressful for both of you, with a mad dash like that. We are grateful to have had 48 hours notice — though I suspect some people are using it to “party like there’s no tomorrow” and putting themselves and others at risk.
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Thank goodness we live in this digital age of instant communication. Like Kiki I remember those letters taking forever between NZ and UK and having to book the annual Christmas phone call weeks in advance. Things sure have changed and they will be changing now, hopefully lessons are learnt and we all come out the other side a more caring and grateful community, appreciating little things like hugs and being able to meet friends for a coffee.
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I so hope for that too.
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for now it seems we are all close and yet so far –
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And our governor has decided against lock down for us here in Florida…..mixed feelings about that. Our president is not helping matters, either. He is thinking about reopening certain businesses so people can get back to work. Translation: he is worried about the money. Not the health and safety of people. The money. You will all be safe, Su. But that is such a lovely photo.
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I read about that this morning, then I saw a video my nieceβs American boyfriend posted which pretty much denied the existence of the virus and I did truly begin to wonder if somehow the Earth is actually two (or maybe more) parallel universes and I live in the semi-sane one.
I so hope that you and your loved ones are safe and well. Sending virtual hugs and hongi https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hongi
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What a cute photo, your poor son is going to be so embarrassed, I can hear him saying “Mo-o-o-o-om” from here π
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ππ Luckily, he doesnβt read my blog!
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Haha!
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My heart goes out to you. My daughters are all in the UK and my stepson in New Jersey. All locked down. We are on an advisory at the moment here in Massachusetts, but if people donβt behave the Governor will shut us in, no doubt. I know what itβs like to be apart from beloved children and Iβm not going to sugar coat it by saying FaceTime and Skype make the difference. They donβt. Physically holding your precious child, those hugs – there isnβt a substitute but take heart. You are doing what is necessary to ensure that you have years and years of hugs ahead and that parents the world over have the same. All hail hugs. All hail flattening the curve π«
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Thank you so much. Iβm grateful that my boy is at least in the same city and I can get to him if necessary. This has really shown us the fragility of the world as we know it.
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Iβm glad he is near enough. This world is fragile indeed. We need to heed that now and we need to remember that truth as we emerge from the crisis as we ever will
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I totally agree π
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Four weeks seems like an eternity. I hope desperately for you that this will help NZ avoid the worst case scenario and that many lives will be spared. I can completely understand your longing to hold your family tight. I imagine you are very worried about your father as well, Su.
You will have seen our news, Su, which foreshadows a horrific trajectory of infection. I am ashamed of the country we have become.
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Thank you Tracy. I am cautiously optimistic that the lock-down will save lives; less so that morons wonβt ignore the rules.
It is scary to see whatβs happening in Australia. I used to feel that our two countries were so similar, but the differences seem to be growing.
Iβve spoken to my dad, and as much as I can be reassured, I am reassured that he has good people looking out for him.
The boy-child was quite fragile before this started and remains my main concern. And of course, my mother, brothers and their families are in England are vulnerable but beyond my reach.
I hope you and your family are managing to access what you need and that you are all safe.
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I understand your concern about your son, Su. Been there. So long as he keeps talking to you, that is a good sign. The three amigo PMs are not covering themselves with glory.
We are fine for the moment, but there are some in this country, who are beyond my contempt.
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My thoughts are with you. I will be going into quarantine for a fortnight from Saturday, hopefully to emerge well so I can visit my 90 year old mother who lives 4 hours away. She was quite down when I told her that I wouldn’t be able to come for Easter, at that stage I hadn’t even thought of how I could make a visit possible. She was much brighter after I ‘phoned her this evening to tell her of my plan. I feel very lucky that I can do this with my job and am not instantly unemployed like so many workers here in Australia.
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Yes: the economic impact of this is huge and as usual will be borne disproportionately by the poor βΉοΈ
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In times of stress and anxiety, we need to rely on the sweet memories that will always be there to support us, when the physical presence is lacking. Best wishes! Peter
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Thank you Peter. This is so true
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Relieved to hear you are all fine Su. Our daughter lives three houses down the street from us and we talk on the phone every day. (We used to see here everyday) We might even Skype if it goes on much longer. This too will pass Su. The thing that amazes me is how fast it has moved to all parts of the world.
Leslie
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Thank you Leslie. Yes, the speed is particularly frightening.
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We have been using a lot of Skype and FaceTime and Zoom to be in touch with family. But nothing will ever replace a hug and a kiss. Hang in there.
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Agreeing with so many prior lovely comments, Su, and appreciating your photo. xxx
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Thank you Del.
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ππΌ
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Lovely photo! You are both very photogenic and Big T (I assume) takes great portraits. My anguish is the other way round, at not being able to see my mum, although our lockdown has exceptions for helping vulnerable people. Even so, all I can safely do is deliver supplies occasionally and chat from the end of the garden path maybe! Iβm working hard at creating an alternative network in case John or I falls sick. Mum is cheerful, and blithely unconcerned. Iβm in bits.
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Thank you Anabel.
I totally understand being in bits. I saw the boy-child and his partner (at a safe distance) earlier today and am comforted that he is in a flat with friends and they seem committed to looking out for each other.
I hope you all stay safe and well, and that the lock-downs work to ease the load on our health services.
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Thank you, Su, I hope so too.
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Have been praying for a couple of close friends in Singapore who were anxiously awaiting the return of their children (catching the last flights from universities in the US). They are finally back in Singapore in isolation.
It must be nerve-wrecking to be away from Boy-Child at this time.
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Iβm glad your friendsβ children arrived home safely. I am concerned about the boy-child, though he shares a house with friends and his partner, so I hope they will all support each other.
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(((((Su)))))
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Thank you so much π
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This is such a sweet and precious photo, Su! And I’m so sorry that he isn’t staying with you for the moment at least. But soon this will be over, and you’ll hold him in your arms again! Stay strong! Kia kaha, dear friend! xxx
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Thank you so much. In some ways I wish he was with us too, although when he is in a black mood he has a talent for spreading the misery, and Iβm stronger when Iβm not around him all the time. Does that sound very selfish?
How are you and your mum doing?
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It doesn’t sound selfish at all, Su! I completely understand, and you really shouldn’t feel bad about it. Depressive people have a tendency to suck the ones around them into their hole of misery even if they don’t mean to, it just happens. And now is not a good time to feel miserable if you can avoid it, since it influences your immune system. Sending lots of love and many hugs! xxx
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Thank you for understanding. I feel now more than ever that I need to stay strong.
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Stay safe Su – there will be hugs aplenty afterwards. x
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Thanks Darren. π
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Ahh! β€ What a lovely photo. I should be hugging my mom right now too back in Slovenia where I should be having a big and splendid 50 b-day party soon. The b-day is next Saturday and I'll make myself a cake. Yeah.
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There are going to be a lot of milestone birthdays celebrated in novel ways this year!
My son’s girlfriend turned 21 and they are waiting for restrictions to be lifted to have a party. Who knows when that will be.
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