About: age is just a (biggish) number

The me I think I am

The me I think I am

This is a blog about aging. Actually, maybe not. It’s a blog inspired by age – my age.

I turned 50 and thought –  in an intellectual sort of way – that I’m getting old. At 50, my mother had three grown-up kids, one grandmother already had seven grandchildren and the other was about to die.

But the thing is; I don’t feel old!

I still feel like the mucky kid who manages to get icecream all over her.

I still feel like the mucky kid who manages to get icecream all over her.

Because age is relative, right. When you’re a kid there is a kind of chasm between you and THE OLDER GENERATION. All your teachers seem old; your mum and dad are old, your grandparents are ancient, and if, like me you had great grandparents … well I think the word I’m looking for is prehistoric.

Then you grow up and meet someone who taught you at high school and they haven’t fossilised yet. The fact that they don’t remember you isn’t dementia – it’s that they taught thousands of sullen teenagers while you only had one Mr. M for fifth form English.

Everyone you know starts having kids and one day you meet a friend from playcentre and she tells you her son (whose fifth birthday party you went to) has started university. Your own child becomes taller than you – and not only understands the “I really shouldn’t laugh at this” syphilis joke – but can make one of his own. Suddenly you are THE OLDER GENERATION.

I was going to a costume party, but when I dashed into the local bottle store to buy wine, the guy there didn't bat an eyelid. Perhaps I'm just meant to be a punk?

I was going to a costume party, but when I dashed into the local bottle store to buy wine, the guy there didn’t bat an eyelid. Perhaps I’m just meant to be a punk?

But that’s ok, ‘cos not only do I not feel old, I actually feel better than I ever have – maybe not physically, but emotionally and intellectually. I am stronger, braver, funnier, more compassionate, more resilient and much more confident.

I’m also way more opinionated! And I guess that’s what this blog is about; a journey through my thoughts and impressions and beliefs shaped by the 50 years that have gone, and the days that pass now.

Thanks for reading this; perhaps you want to take the journey with me.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering … ZimmerBitch?

… well she’s the avatar I created in my son’s PS3 skating game; a funky old lady who had swapped her zimmerframe for a skateboard.

I had hopes that I could dress her “nana style” and film this cool skating granny, thereby making me a YouTube star. Sadly – and inexplicably – the game didn’t offer grey as a hair colour – nor tweed skirts, twinsets, baggy tights, orthopaedic shoes and crocodile handbags in the wardrobe options. So ZimmerBitch doesn’t ride the virtual mean streets of YouTube – YET!!!

214 thoughts on “About: age is just a (biggish) number

  1. Love your blog name and the reason why you chose it! I am in a similar situation to you… my 50th isn’t too far away but I don’t feel anywhere near my age (although the body’s starting to feel it!) I’ve enjoyed looking through some of your posts today and look forward to stopping by again soon! 🙂

    Like

        • Absolutely!!! I found 40 a bit stressful – the way I remember some of my mother’s younger friends getting upset when they turned 30. I guess it’s about life stages. At 50 I have one teenage son and can start thinking about life after intense parenting. At 50, my mother had three adult kids – and my grandmother was … a grandmother.

          Like

      • Yes I remember my mother getting upset when she turned 30 but she actually liked 40! I have three children, my daughter’s 23 and two sons of 17 and 15 so feeling a little frazzled at the moment but looking forward to more and more of ‘me’ time!

        Like

        • Frazzled might be an understatement? I barely cope with one child (though to be fair, I am notoriously hopeless with kids). Apart from the first few years of motherhood when I felt a bit useless and had totally lost my identity, I’ve actually felt better with each year that has passed. I’ve recently become a Trustee of a charity and joined the Board of the company it runs, and am loving that – plus the “knock-on” effects of feeling grown up again.

          Like

      • ‘Feeling grown up again…’ yes! I feel like I’ve been on automatic pilot for the past 23 years and am just starting to find myself again and I tell you what… I’ve missed me! So here’s to the next 50 years! 🙂

        Like

  2. I remember Nana Lynch saying just that at 80 she just didn’t feel older than 28! Abi-Mae was asking me in the car today about my age, 42 thats old but you don’t look old, not old hair or old face, dad has old hair his beard is old. So I am going with that not old face or hair, or on the inside – DAMN THOSE NUMBERS!! loving your blog.xxx
    see you soonxxx

    Like

    • Totally ignore the numbers!!! Fifty is the new twenty five. So looking forward to seeing you all and finally meeting the gorgeous Ms Abi-Mae.

      Like

  3. I love your blog Su and enjoy following your journey and everything you get up to. I think it is true, as we get older we get more opinionated but also more confident and assured of ourselves. I do think we are definitely as young as we feel….and I do not plan on “growing up” any time soon.

    Like

    • Hear hear to that!!!! Thank you so much for following my blog – and for your lovely comments. I feel increasingly that women around my age have come to an awareness of our power and beauty and strength. It’s wonderful to be around such women and to hear their stories. I find it very nourishing.

      Like

  4. There seems to be a club of us out there. I turned 55 this month and frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. (I hope that isn’t a copyrighted expression.) I feel physically better than I have in years. The only concern I have about the numbers is time that’s wasted waiting for something to happen. I want to see it NOW, do it NOW, go there NOW. Why wait; what’s the worst that can happen?

    Like

  5. I just LOVE this- especially the part about being more opinionated. I have always been so afraid of this- at least in public. I will be 56 in February and feel as if I am just getting started- love your blog. Thanks for giving me a shout-out!

    Like

    • Sorry, I really have been slack at responding. I know what you mean; I spent so many years being afraid to speak up in case … actually I don’t even quite know what I was afraid of. Yay for grown-up women I say 🙂

      Like

  6. When I started to grow older on the outside but not on the inside, I realized how unfortunate it was I didn’t understand that when I was young. It would have given me insight into my parents and other adults. At almost 60, my “me” hasn’t changed much over the years, though it has grown a bit wiser and more introspective.

    Like

    • That’s really interesting; my “me” definitely changed quite a lot over the years – something I’m very glad of!

      Like

  7. I very much relate to what you wrote, along with everyone’s comments. In a few years, I’ll also be 50…. Hmm, I’m not sure I can even a smiley at the thought. 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks; it’s surprising how many people (women especially) feel so positive about aging. I guess we define it as maturing and can see ourselves as better, happier, more fulfilled people. Thanks for stopping by and commenting 🙂

      Like

  8. I’m right there with you, it looks like we are the same age. The body is not feeling as young as I would like, but I am a bit embarrassed to admit that the mind is still downright juvenile sometimes.

    Like

  9. Spoken as a fifty-something, isn’t 50 like the new 30, or something like that? 😉 I’m right there with you (well, a bit more ahead) and love your take on becoming the older generation. I’m looking forward to joining you on the journey, as I think it’s gonna be a fun ride 🙂

    Like

  10. Hi! We are just a tad ahead of you on the calendar… enjoying your blog! Thanks also for linking. We’re flattered 🙂

    Like

  11. Thank you kindly for stopping by our blog and leaving some likes 🙂
    Ahhh – what you say is soooo true! We were only having this conversation the other day that as kids our aunties and uncles looked so old (and they were in their 30s like we are now)! Now that we are aunties and uncles, we don’t feel (or look) the slightest bit as “old” as they did! Age is so very relative! Now, there is no such thing in our vocabulary as someone being “old”… they are only “older than us” 🙂

    Like

  12. Loved your About Me. It is inspiring. I also think the same way, growing up does not matter, what matter is how you live all the years. I wish and hope to stay & feel like you do- energetic, confident, fun loving when I am 50.
    Cheers to You

    Much Love
    Aanchal

    Like

  13. I just turned 51. I feel physically better, in shape, than ever before. The body is an amazing machine when worked. I’m not more opinionated, more quiet in my thoughts these days….more listening, as opposed to speaking I guess…thinking people are, well….yet more patient, forgiving, grateful…as I know how fast the years have flown and how fragile life is. I enjoy the contextual nature of your blog ~

    Like

    • Thanks for your comments. You got me thinking; I wrote this a couple of years ago and I wondered if I’d say the same things about myself now. I think so; and maybe I’d emphasise the confidence more. I really do feel that I have earned my place in the world, and am willing to stand up for what I believe in. For so long I was opinionated but afraid. Thanks so much for visiting and sharing your thoughts 🙂

      Like

  14. Just visited here: shoulda done it ages ago.
    Of course you don’t feel old: I’m bloody 71 and I feel the same as I did when I was 31. It’s only the body that changes – and that’s the sad part … because the young can’t understand that, which means you lose contact with a huge part of the people.
    Ah well. Così vanno le cose. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: A note of Thanks « Books, Music, Photography, & Movies

  16. I’m not sure how I managed to miss visiting your blog. I wondered why your posts never seemed to pop up in my mailbox. Glad I finally came over to investigate!

    We 50-somethings have a lot of life in us. Even though I’m closer to 60 than 50, I agree that in many ways I feel stronger, more confident and happier now than I did when I was much younger…..although I get wistful when I look at pictures from my 20s and 30s 😉

    Zimmerbitch is a great name!! Looking forward to hearing more!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Joanne; I do think that age brings so much wisdom and confidence that it kinda makes up for the failing body. And throughout history, age has been venerated – not reviled! But yeah, I get the wistful feeling too looking at old pics. Cheers, Su.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Hi Su, I really appreciate the posts that caught your interest on my blog. Often, my posts will have kernels of bigger ideas embedded within. I hope I’ve grown as a writer! I pursue my writing on a professional level. And I hope that my blog strikes a chord with others. I also have my book that, given more exposure, I know would resonate with more readers far and wide. People can look up my blog and find a link to my new book on Amazon. And I’m always encouraging those who have read it to provide an Amazon review. There’s an excerpt to the book that can be found on my blog too, MY GRAPHIC NOVEL, that would suffice as basis for someone to post an Amazon review. No purchase necessary! That’s a big hint for anyone interested.

    Well, I do want to comment specifically on this whole issue of age. It truly is just a number. Look, we all have a limited time on Earth so we really don’t need to concern ourselves with age to the point of distraction. At 50 plus, that’s a perfect time to dive in and take life by the horns. Your interests and passions have been developing since as far back as you can remember. You’ve now built up a foundation from which to work from. I know I have! I’m 51, and just like you, I certainly don’t feel old. I don’t look old either. I could pass for much younger. But that’s not the point. The point is that I’ve reached a point in life where I’m more confident and stronger than ever before. I would like to think that my outlook and my activities are reflected and well represented on my blog. I think so. And I definitely believe that’s the case with your blog. Cheers, Henry.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I just turned 50 last June, and feel just as healthy and happy as I was 5 or 10 years ago (although I do sigh more often when I sit down – what’s up with that?!?) I play tennis with a guy who is 62 and who regularly beats me, not because of his technical skills, but because he runs down every ball — Andy Murray-style. That gives me comfort that life isn’t quite over yet and something to look forward to (being in shape like this guy). So celebrate your 50’s! And thanks for visiting my blog. Love your pictures!

    Like

    • Hi Lutz, thanks for commenting. It’s wonderful how many people are so positive about hitting 50! It shouldn’t be surprising, but it’s like there is a huge conspiracy to convince us all to dread aging. I don’t know anyone who has gone “well, I’m old now, time to retire from life.” My mother was doing some pretty heavy-duty trekking in the Scottish highlands into her 70s. She only gave up because osteoporosis meant that any broken bones would be unlikely to heal. And I work in a voluntary organisation with a couple of women in their 80s — they’re so cool and inspirational. Anyway, sorry for the rant. Love your photos; they have such energy and integrity. Cheers, Su.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I love your writing “voice.” Following you now as the whole age thing freaks me out. 62? I have no idea how that happened. I don’t feel old but isn’t 62 the age where one sports blue hair (not the punk kind) and a walker? While I’m not doing either of those (although last year my hairdresser accidentally put a cobalt blue streak in my hair and was horrified but I loved it), I look around and, well, all the other 62-year-olds look…. old. So, I’m sticking with you, not feeling old, not letting it stop me from running and doing whatever. At 50 my husband announced he could now say anything he wanted…and he does. Then again, he pretty much always did. But, I give you the same permission — say whatever you want and I’ll be happy to read it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • How on earth did you get a hairdresser to even touch blue dye in the presence of anyone over 20? I’ve been trying for years to persuade hairdressers not to be too conservative with me. I plead, bargain, wheedle, assure them I work from home, etc. and I usually end up stopping them half way through the “styling” process and finishing it myself. As for saying what I want, I just tell people I’m just fining my place on the autism spectrum. Terrible, I know, but I can do it with a straight face and weirdly they believe me.

      Like

  20. I am going to be 53 years next month (notice how I left out the word “old?”). I live in constant denial but believe a positive attitude is important in keeping “youthful” both in mind and body and spirit! I feel young at this moment in time. And haven’t you heard the new slogan going round facebook?… 60 is the new 40! I look forward to reviewing your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. really it is amazing to see such nice blog and candid person like you. you might be old by number but you blog is just contrast.
    Keep blogging people like you motivate others to live their life and fulfill their dreams even second phase of life.
    Keep Blogging.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Thanks for visiting my blog. I agree with you about age – I am now nearer 60 than 50 though. That’s only bad because it shortens the time ahead ;-( Anyway, I’ve enjoyed reading a selection your posts and I’ll be back.

    Like

  23. I relate to this post 100 percent I may be getting older, i have one daughter at University and one going into her last year of secondary next year but I feel young at heart and much more adventurous than I did in my teens! I’m undoubtedly a slow developer!THANKS for stopping by my blog and liking my posts. Enjoying yours too.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment